• jahintanvir

Let’s talk about the most important human quality

I delivered a talk to Sydney Children’s Hospital a couple of months ago and they asked me to talk about a topic that I believe we need more of right now. Upon reflecting on that request, I decided that the topic that I would speak about would be resilience, particularly its importance during this pandemic.

What I learned from giving that talk was that it put me into a phase of deep introspection, and a realization that we cannot function to our optimum level without resilience.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from any adversity. More than ever, this is a trait/skill that needs strengthening with how the world is right now.

From that talk, here are 4 key points that I spoke about and I believe that any human being can relate to. As things go, I want to see myself as a guide, and never a guru, and so these lessons are summarised from the research and lived experience that I learned over time.

🌱 Trust the process

As cliché as this may sound, everything happens for a reason. No two individuals' lives and luck at receiving what they ask for are the same. There will be hurdles and there will be victories. The greatest comfort that we can get from this roller coaster is to put faith that everything works out in the end. Our lives are a testament to that outcome, and we need to put emphasis on that relieving ideology more than ever.

🍵 Rational optimism

Life is not fair to everyone. We all know this. However, life is not unfair all the time. That pain and struggle will feel a lot less if we reframe how we see the problems in the world.

The glass is half full.

Live in thoughts of abundance.

💭 Introspection is underrated

Self-development is a lonely journey. When we want to improve, and I mean, seriously improve our lives, we find ourselves sticking out like a sore thumb. Being isolated in our battle for internal liberation. However, don't see that as a challenge but rather, a peaceful blessing. Embrace that and realize that this is a process that we have to traverse alone. The best way to come to this realization is to have deep sessions of reflection and introspection. I personally take 45-minute walks every single day to allow my thoughts to pass and process. It's a practice James Clear, author of "Atomic Habits" has also recommended so you know there's credibility there.

You can control your thoughts to fight the right battles for you, not all of them.

🚴 It is up to you what happens next

The biggest lesson that I learned was that, in the end, we are all alone. The world does not stop for us to take time, grieve our sorrows and come back with what we perceive as the better version of ourselves. The world keeps moving forward. The show keeps rolling, with or without you.

We have to pick ourselves up, process our emotions and get back on the horse. Even if sometimes we have to grab ourselves by the collar and push ourselves up, that is the way we have to go rather than spiraling into an abyss of self-condemnation for everything that has gone wrong.

Our lives are worth more than temporary emotions.

Here's a quote that I added to the end of the presentation that I was informed resonated very well with the young audience.

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

2021 was a difficult year, and we had to learn resilience the hard way. Irrespective of the battle, I learned that it becomes easier to bounce back when we realize who we are and all the battles we have fought before.

Be proud of how you have handled the turmoil of the last few years.

The silent battles you may have fought.

The moments you had to wipe your own tears.

The times you were brought to your knees in pure pain.

Celebrate that you are still here. Resilience will keep moving you further.